As I sit on the deli patio having my breakfast each morning parents walk by with their kids to school. One mother has two lively daughters who daily call out a cheery “hello” to me. This happened spontaneously the first time and has continued as such. In contrast another little girl was prompted to “say hello to the lady” and did so but it wasn’t her idea and so has become a contest of wills. You can feel the tension as they approach. Mom has seen the other two so happily interactive and social and obviously wants this for her little girl. Now the child either pointedly ignores me or grins woodenly. Attempts to force behaviour seldom bring about the desired response. It’s sad. The intent is great but the result goes awry and compounds.