Lyrics
There's a famous seaside place called BlackpoolThat's noted for fresh air and funAnd Mr. and Mrs. RamsbottomWent there with young Albert, their sonA grand little lad were young AlbertAll dressed in his best, quite a swellWith a stick with an horse's head handleThe finest that Woolworth's could sellThey didn't think much to the oceanThe waves they were piddlin' and smallThere was no wrecks and nobody drowneded'Fact, nothin' to laugh at at all!So, seeking for further amusementThey paid, and went into the zooWhere they'd lions and tigers and camelsAnd old ale and sandwiches, tooThere were one great big lion called WallaceHis nose was all covered with scarsHe lay in a somnolent postureWith the side of 'is face on the barsNow Albert had heard about lionsHow they was ferocious and wildTo see Wallace lyin' so peacefulWell it didn't seem right to the childSo straightway the brave little fellerNot showin' a morsel of fearTook 'is stick with the horse's head handleAnd shoved it in Wallace's earYou could see that the lion didn't like itFor givin' a kind of a rollHe pulled Albert inside the cage with himAnd swallowed the little lad whole!Then Pa, who had seen the occurrenceAnd didn't know what to do nextSaid "Mother, yon lion's ate Albert!"And Mother said "Ee, I am vexed"Then Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom, quite rightlyWhen all is said and doneComplained to the animal keeperThat the lion had eaten their sonThe keeper was quite nice about itHe said "What a nasty mishapAre you sure that it's your boy he's eaten?"Pa said, "Am I sure? There's his cap!"The manager had to be sent forHe came and he said "What's to-do?"Pa said "Yon lion's ate AlbertAnd him in his Sunday clothes, too!"Then Mother said "Right's right, young feller-I think it's a shame and a sinFor a lion to go and eat AlbertAnd after we paid to come in"The manager wanted no troubleHe took out his purse right awaySayin' "How much to settle the matter?"Pa says "What do you usually pay?"But Mother had turned a bit awkwardWhen she thought where her Albert had goneShe said "No, someone's got to be summonsed!"So that was decided uponThen off they went to the police stationIn front of the Magistrate chapThey told him what happened to AlbertAnd proved it by showing his capThe Magistrate gave his opinionThat no one was really to blameAnd he said that he hoped the RamsbottomsWould have further sons to their nameAt that Mother got proper blazin'"And thank you, sir, kindly, " said she-"What, waste all our lives raisin' childrenTo feed ruddy lions? Not me!"
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: George Marriott Edgar